yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
