when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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