have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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