idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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