i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I could have mohawked her pubes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
