I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
