The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
