Pappa wants mamma naked
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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