someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
