I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would ride that face into the sunset
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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