Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
