Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize