the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
