so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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