And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
