i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
