Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
