I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
