At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
