Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
