Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
