how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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