Will you blow on my dice?
She is in my trunk
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize