never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
