i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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