Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You did what with his pubic hair?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
