There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
