so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
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Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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