Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
