I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
