I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
