Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize