Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
