I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
