Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
