Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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