R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
