It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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