the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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