My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
