lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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