You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
