I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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