I just made out with a guy for $7.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize