you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Randomize
