Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
only you would photoshop your dick
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
