I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
