discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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