i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
