Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
