Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
