How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
How does it feel to date your dad?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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