Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
