I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Boobs speak an international language.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He shit in the fireplace
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
