i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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