Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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